Why I Smile
by StarSlingerSnitch
Summary: She's in charge of their smiles. She's in charge of their hope. She's in charge of their happiness. But what happens if she is unable to after giving up everything for them? Oneshot, mostly tight friendship/family bonds, slight Hiroto/Saki if you squint.


**A/N: I'm back and I know it's been awhile but I've just been so, so busy. So this is just an old story of mine that I kind of forgot about. There's not really any pairings in here, just tight friendship and bonding. Maybe some Saki/Hiroto if you squint. Rated T for (semi)descriptive wounds and possible angst. Comment please and I hope you all enjoy!**

"Why can't I get it?" The peaceful morning is interrupted by a screech of frustration. Gunpei looks up from his book, over from his table to see Sosuke throwing his coin to the ground in a fit of exasperation. He rolls his eyes at Hanto, who is sitting beside him. Hanto just shakes his head and goes back to playing with his knife and fork while they wait for Renn to bring out the breakfast.

Saki comes out of Ginjiro-go, her face a look of worry. She surveys the outside, seeing Gunpei and Hanto behaving normally and Sosuke…

Of course it's Sosuke. He is sitting with his arms crossed, glaring at the ground. She sighs and jumps from the Ginjiro-go, walking over to him.

"What's wrong, Sosuke?" she asks. He turns his head to her, eyes narrowed. He looks like he's about to explode. As usual. But before he can say anything, Gunpei answers for him.

"He is upset with his coin again." She looks over at him as he goes back to his book. Hanto nods his head, agreeing with Gunpei.

"He's not getting what he wants," he elaborates. She stares back at Sosuke, who nods.

"It's just not working for me! I keep getting tails, every time! What's wrong with it?" His voice grows progressively louder with every word and she just shakes her head, exasperated.

"It's not so bad, Sosuke." She reaches out her hands and grabs his face, forcing his mouth upwards. Whenever someone is down or sad, she does this to make them feel better, to remind that it's not the end of the world. Better things will come along.

Because all this stuff that happens, all the bad things that one has to go through, all this fakeness, eventually helps one in the long run, to become better, stronger.

And they never seem to remember that. Without her.

"Smile, smile!" she says happily, letting go of him as he takes hold of her wrists.

"Ouch, Saki, that hurt!" he complains. She simply smiles at him, knowing inside he needed it. Besides, nothing he says he really means, he's always one to speak without thinking so she's learned to cut him a little slack sometimes.

"Oh! Ah! Hot, hot!" A cry comes from within the Ginjiro-go and they all turn to look at it.

"Renn, you alright?" Gunpei calls, still reading his book. There's no response for a few moments.

"Uh, yeah, but I could use some help," Renn answers back, his voice shaky. They all look at each other and the guys shrug. Saki rolls her eyes.

"Don't worry, I'll help you." She climbs back inside the Ginjiro-go, still smiling. They emerge moments later carrying the plates of food. Renn's hands are a little red, slightly burned.

"Thanks Saki. I needed some help with that," says Renn, setting the plates down. Saki turns her sunny smile on him, happy to be of help.

"No problem," she responds, sitting down next to Hanto. "Smile, smile, right?" They all look at each other.

"Smile, smile?" They repeat after her, a little amused. It's her trademark phrase and she says it to everything. In a way, it does keep them happy. Or at least sane.

In the darkest times, she's smiling. In the worst scenarios, she's grinning. In the most twisted, hopeless moments, she still sparkles. And in a way, they need that. They need it.

She nods enthusiastically, picking up her fork and taking a bite of Renn's food.

"Mmm, it's good!" she says happily. Renn smiles in relief. He knows his food-especially his omelets-are good but everyday he's a little anxious that maybe they won't taste as good as the last. Being a mom-especially the Go Onger's mom-is a hard job but he wouldn't trade it for anything.

He takes his seat next to Sosuke who has reluctantly started to eat his food, still upset about his coin toss. Hanto is gobbling up the eggs, smiling at everything that Saki and Gunpei are saying and joins in from time to time.

A slight breeze blows by, carrying the scent of sunshine and clear skies. Fluffy clouds trail across the sky, creating bizarre patterns across the expanse of blue.

It's a peaceful day, at least. There's nothing to bother them, nothing to disrupt them and they can finally relax…

"Gaiark detected!" Bomper announces, coming to the door of Ginjiro-go. The others look from the breakfast and get up from their chairs.

"Aww, I'm not done yet," Saki whines, looking at her still half-full plate.

"We can finish later! Come on guys, let's go beat them at Mach speed!" cries Sosuke, taking out his Go-Phone and plugging his change soul into it. The others follow, Gunepi and Hanto activating their Brace Shift Changer.

"Change Soul, set! Let's go, on!" They all call out, transforming immediately. Power surges through Saki, feeling like she's about to burst with the glorious feeling.

"Let's go!" Sosuke says, starting to run ahead of the others. They look at each other and nod, faces set with determination.

"Right," they echo, then take off after Sosuke.

* * *

"Oh, great. It's them!" Gunpei exclaims as they skid to a stop, right in front of Kireizky, Kitaneidas and Kegalesia. They're standing triumphantly among the chaos happening around them. People are running, screaming, fleeing the scene in terror of the Minister's attacks.

"Gaiark! What are you up to this time?" Sosuke demands, taking a few steps forward. Kegalesia laughs, the sound vibrating through the air. The others join in, their voices more deep but still evil-sounding.

"What do you think, Red Go Onger?" she shoots back, standing taller. "Coming to kill you, of course. And taking over the city while we're at it."

"Yes, and then the world!" Kitaneidas joins in, chuckling. Saki frowns under her helmet at their plans of unhappiness.

"Be prepared to die," says Kireizky in his monotone voice, glaring at the heroes.

"We'll see about that," Renn responds, clenching his fists. Even under their layers of suit, anyone can tell of the anger and determination rolling off of the Go Ongers in waves.

"That's unforgivable!" Saki cries, moving forward to join Sosuke. The others nod.

"Why is it always the same old plan?" Gunpei asks to no one in particular, clearly annoyed with the Gaiark's antics. Hanto and Renn shrug.

"You're not starting without us, right?" The Go Ongers look up at the sound of familiar voices to see the Sutou siblings flip over their heads and land right beside them.

"Hiroto! Miu!" Sosuke says, his way of greeting. Miu nods, probably smiling under her helmet but Hiroto only inclines his head.

"Gaiark! You're not getting any farther!" He points at them, curling his hand into a fist.

"Yeah, we won't let you!" Miu adds. The others nod, determined to stop them from causing any more harm.

"Yeah? Well, let's see how far you get," Kegalesia retorts. She snaps her fingers. "Ugatz!" They appear out of nowhere, coming to a stop in front of the ministers. Saki takes a step forward.

"Don't worry guys, I can handle the Ugatz. You take them!" Saki reassures them.

"Okay," Renn agrees, taking out his Garage Launcher.

"Be careful Saki," warns Hanto as he unleashes his Bridge Axe. Saki turns to him, her grin almost visible through her yellow helmet.

"Smile, smile!" she reminds them before starting forward. The Ugatz crowd around her, attacking, slashing but she takes them all on. The others race past her and the foot soldiers, too focused on her, don't bother to stop them as they head for their masters.

"You're not getting away with this!" Saki spits out, grabbing one's arm and getting behind it, kicking it in the back. It falls just as another comes up and she launches out, punching it in the gut and knocking it down. She squats to the ground and sweeps her foot under three of them, letting them fall backwards. Getting up, she hits one in the chest with her elbow repeatedly until it, too falls.

She holds onto one's shoulder and kicks out at another, sending it flying away from her. She then shoves the one in front of her sprawling to the ground.

Over the heads of the Ugatz, she sees her comrades fighting the Gairak. Sosuke and Hiroto have teamed up against Kireizky, Hanto and Gunpei against Kitaneides and Renn and Miu are taking on Kegalesia.

And yet…it's not going well. They're getting beaten.

Badly.

Sosuke and Hiroto get blasted backwards and land feet away from her. A tight feeling forms in her chest at the sight. And she doesn't know why she seems to be more worried about them then the others. She looks up to see them get back on their feet and charge at their opponent.

Her attention is drawn to Renn and Miu as Miu flips over the Water Pollution Minister's head while Renn aims a kick at her. They're both pushed backwards but regain their footing and rush back in.

Her view is cut off suddenly as a foot soldier attempts to punch her in the shoulder. She steps to the side and knees it in the back, letting it fall.

She looks up when she hears Hanto's cry of pain as he's knocked to the ground. Gunpei is trying to help him but is blasted backwards by Kitaneids's weapons. She wants to assist them but more Ugatz get in her way, blocking her view of them.

_They're okay,_ she tells herself. _They're Go Ongers. They can take care of themselves._

Even as she thinks that, however, they're shoved away. The others soon joined them, having being beaten by the two ministers. They're all de-morphed and sprawled on the ground, completely to the mercy of the ministers.

"Well that was easy," Kitaneides comments, sneering down at the fallen heroes.

"I'll say so," agrees Kegalesia, nodding her head and smiling sickeningly at them.

"It's time to finish you, Go Ongers," Kireizky claims, taking a few steps forward. He raises his arm, his hand clenched around his shotgun. "Prepare to die."

"Guys!" Saki cries, seeing that they're about to be annihilated. They're not getting up.

_Get up, get up! Come on, get up!_

But they're not.

The blast shoots. It's in slow motion, moving at the speed of light. It's a bright blast, sparkling and blinding and a rainbow of all the colors into one, blazing hue of dazzling white.

The lightest color one sees before death.

"No!" Saki barrels through the remaining Ugatz, shoving them out of her way. She has to get to her friends, she has to save them, she has to…

She won't lose them. She _won't._

The others throw their hands over their heads, wincing in preparation of the impending pain, their impending doom. They can feel the heat from the shot, coming closer to them, a sure sign of death or at least dreadful agony.

But it never comes.

Instead they hear a distressing cry, a cry full of pain and sadness and fear and torment.

A cry of…death.

They look up, startled. And not prepared for what their eyes are telling them

They see Saki, her arms spread out, her back to them, taking the full impact of the blast.

"Saki!" Hanto screams. She took a bullet for them. _No._

"_Saki!_" shouts Sosuke, reaching a hand out.

"No!" Hiroto yells. It doesn't seem real. _This isn't happening, this isn't happening…_

"Saki!" Miu cries, her voice shrill. Saki de-morphs in front of them, her suit disappearing in a cloud of yellow sparks. She crumples in front of them, hitting the ground with a soft thud.

It takes them all a few seconds to process what just happened.

But only a few seconds.

"Saki!" Sosuke crawls towards her, reaching her in moments. He turns her over, letting her head rest on his lap. He doesn't even notice her blood dropping onto him, making red spots on his clothing. She looks up at him, still conscious but only just.

The others make their way over as well, using the last of their strength to reach her.

"Saki! Saki, are you okay?" Gunpei asks, his voice shaky.

"Are you alright?" Hanto says at the exact same time, touching her arm. His hand is trembling as he places it on her arm.

"Saki, answer us!" Renn is on her other side, holding her hand. She merely looks at them, unable to speak, unable to breathe.

The pain is crushing her from all sides. She feels hot inside, on fire, the flames spreading throughout her body. She feels the wetness of blood on her skin, everywhere. On her back, her arms, her chest, everywhere. The warm liquid seeps out of her-like her energy. She feels empty, broken.

She has nothing left.

Nothing left but the unbearable pain. It's nothing she's ever felt before. It's surrounding her, cutting deeper than her very skin, threading through her veins, her blood, her heart.

But still she smiles.

She smiles up at them, knowing it's the only thing she can do. She needs to reassure them that everything is alright. That she'll be fine.

They see her bright smile, shining up at them, her eyes sparkling. And then they close.

"Saki? Saki!" Sosuke sees her eyelids close but doesn't believe it. Seeing, but not believing. It knifes through him, the shock. The shock is cold and hard, forming a mold around his heart. His heart that usually is so passive. The fire that always burns so brightly inside him starts to fade a little.

None of them notice the minister's departure. Apparently Kireizky needs to refuel, so after warning them that they were lucky, with the Go Ongers barely listening, they leave.

"Speak to us, Saki! Speak to us!" Miu latches on to Hiroto's arm, staring at the prone figure of her best friend. Tears are coming, slowly but surely, leaking out of the corners of her eyelids. She is just…sad. Sadness is what she is.

"This can't be happening!" Gunpei declares. It's like a bad dream, a nightmare, an alternate dimension. _Saki can't be…_

"I don't believe it. Saki!" Hanto starts to shake her shoulders, willing her to wake up, to smile, to laugh. To do something, anything.

But she's as still as death itself.

"Saki…" Hiroto murmurs, not taking his eyes off of her. Even when severely hurt, she's still smiling. She looks peaceful, she looks serene.

But no…she shouldn't be like that. She should be alive. Because out of all of them, she's the most alive, the most awake, wanting to do everything and anything, always moving, always happy. The acid rain now in her brain is killing the flowers in her heart.

He never knew how much he needs that until now.

"Saki, please. _Please!_" Miu is leaning on Hiroto's shoulder, still not trusting her eyes that are telling her Saki is…_Saki is_…

"It can't be…" Gunpei trails off, looking at the yellow Go Onger. Time is standing still. Time is stopped. Time is…nonexistent. It's not happening. They can't break out of it.

Renn moves his hands down to her wrist, checking her pulse. He then moves to her neck, placing two slightly quivering hands on her pale skin, double checking. He sighs in small relief.

"There's a pulse," he says softly. The others look at him, small blooming hope in their eyes. _Does that mean…? _"It's faint, but she's still alive. We have to get her back to Ginjiro-go, now."

"Right." Hiroto nudges Miu off of him and instead she leans on Hanto, welcoming his comfort. She needs something to keep her together when it's all falling apart. She needs someone to save her, because she's going down.

They all are.

Hiroto then gathers Saki in his arms, lifting her from Sosuke's lap. Under the circumstances, Sosuke allows it, knowing he probably couldn't do it himself. He is too numb. He can't think. He can't feel. He can't breathe. All he can do is watch.

The others follow Hiroto wordlessly, not sure what to say. They're bruised and bloodied and tired, both inside and out. But their physical pain is nothing compared to the pain in their hearts. They're shattered. They're broken.

No wise words are going to stop this bleeding. Saki's actual blood trailing down, littering Hiroto's clothes and the ground below and the Go Ongers mangled hearts.

They thought nothing could hurt them that way. They thought they could always get back up, always keep going, always keep smiling.

But it is Saki's job to keep them smiling. And she's not here right now.

So there are no more smiles.

"Unbelievable…" murmurs Hanto, stumbling behind Hiroto. Gunpei wraps an arm around his shoulder to keep the younger boy from falling over.

"This isn't happening…" Sosuke says, for once, quietly. All he can focus on is Saki's limp arm, hanging from Hiroto's arms. Even when he closes his eyes, he can still see it, pale, thin, fragmented in his mind. So he does what always does-says something rash, something hopeful, something to make it seem like everything's together. "We'll get you out of this Saki. We promise." The others nod, still numb, still shocked, still drowning.

_ Don't make promises you can't keep._

"Why…" Renn mutters. "Why?" But the others don't answer. They can't. Nothing works, nothing functions anymore.

"Tell me it's not true…" whispers Miu, tears slowly coming down her face. Hiroto looks at her, pain gracing his own face for an instant before making it blank once more. He hates seeing anyone in pain but his little sister is even worse. He just wants to take it all away. He wants everything to be okay, wants everything to be back to the way it was. He wants to mend the broken parts. But he can't.

This is the first time he's felt this helpless in a long time. Saki's head lolls against his chest. A reminder of what he can and cannot do.

"I'm sorry," he tells her, because he can't say anything else. "It is."

* * *

Hiroto emerges from the van, having left Saki on the couch. After setting her down, he had to leave, even though it caused him physical pain to leave her. Only Miu and Renn go inside Ginjiro-go, ready to help the injured Saki. Bomper does what she can but ultimately leaves the attending to the Go Ongers, only coming to the couch to see if they need anything. Other than that, she keeps to herself at the front of the van, looking out the windshield.

The others wait outside, sitting around the table. With the door closed and windows down, they have no idea what's going on. All they can hope is that they'll be able to heal Saki.

Renn had timidly suggested they get treated for their wounds as well but all of them had refused. Saki is more important. They had to focus all their energy on her first before the others could have a turn. Although after a while, Renn had managed to convince Hanto to put a few band aids on his worst cuts.

Slightly inspired, Hanto goes around the other Go Ongers waiting outside and puts a bandage on only their worst wound. Sosuke's, a gash on his arm that had ripped through layers of skin, Gunpei a splint around his wrist and Hiroto a cut running the length of his forehead. After treating them, he sits back down, not sure what to do with himself.

Sosuke sees Saki's plate from that morning. It still has half of her breakfast on it. Angrily, he swipes if off the table, the food flinging off, the plate crashing to the ground and cracking.

Like their resolve.

He lets out a shriek, a sound that tears at his throat. It echoes around them, vibrating through the air, surrounding them with the only thing that can even begin to describe what they're feeling.

"Why Saki…" he bangs his fists on the table, resting his head on his forearms. "Why…"

"She did it for us," Gunpei says emotionlessly. "She did it to save us." He plays with the splint around his wrist, seeming to forget if he messes with it, it won't help him at all.

"But that doesn't make it okay," Hanto breaks in, his voice just as sad. He covers his head with his arms as he lays it on the table. Saki is his friend. Other then Gunpei, his best friend, and before Renn. She is happy and cheerful and understands his point of view. She gets him. She gets why he's childish sometimes, gets why he is always upbeat because she's like that as well.

"Why is this happening?" asks Hiroto, not expecting an answer. The others, as assumed, don't respond, too wrapped up in their own thoughts. His wound throbs a bit but he ignores it. He had spent so long trying to distance himself from others that he didn't realize how much the Go Ongers mean to him until it's staring him in the face. He's attached to them. And it scares him because one day, they will leave. Just like…

_Saki…_

Saki saved them. She sacrificed herself for them. A true comrade. After everything they went through together, after everything that's happened, they lost her.

_No. _She's not dead yet. She's still here.

What they didn't realize is that it's their fault. The one she took the bullet for…was pulling the trigger.

"Guys…she'll be okay, right?" Hanto questions hesitantly, not lifting his head from the table. "I mean…Renn and Miu will help her?"

"I hope so," Hiroto answers, not looking at any of them. He just wants to run away…run away from himself. He's never felt pain like this ever before. This feeling of…loss is foreign to him. He's never cared before. Or at least never let on he's cared. But this time…this time it's different.

"Of course." Sosuke raises his forehead off his forearms. "Renn can do anything. They'll heal her at mach speed!"

"Will they really?" Gunpei comments, still staring at the ground. His eyes never leave a certain spot because that's the only way he can keep from breaking down. He needs to focus on a single spot, tune everything else out. Except when Hanto's voice penetrates his thoughts, he can't go on ignoring them.

"Yes! We have to believe that they can!" Sosuke continues, trying to lift himself up. But usually it's Saki trying to make everyone happy…

He can't take her place.

No one can.

"Why did she do that?" Hiroto asks again, this time wanting an answer. He's grasping at anything that can take his mind off of the situation at hand and by knowing the reason, maybe if he thinks about it, maybe that will help him cope with it.

"She did it because she's our comrade…our teammate…our friend," Sosuke responds. _I would've done the same._ "You would've done the same. We all would've."

"That's just who she is," adds Gunpei. "She wants everything to be happy and smiling and bright." _Just how she always is._

"She holds us together," Hanto says softly. "She's the…the heart of the team." Their bright, cheerful, shining yellow heart. The one that, even when everything is going downhill and everything is wrong, she takes it and moves on.

Hiroto nods and turns his head from them. Their bond is deep. If she's the thing holding them together…what happens if they all fall apart?

Sadness controls them, sadness consumes them, sadness is them.

* * *

"I need a bandage," Renn commands. Miu nods and silently hands him a white roll. He unravels it until it's to the length he wants and cuts it.

Renn and Miu are in charge of helping and healing Saki. Renn insisted it only be him and Miu-too many people wouldn't work out very well. So it is only these two, sitting by the couch in the empty van, doing to the best of their abilities to treat Saki's injuries.

It's not pretty.

She has cuts everywhere. Small lines of crimson criss-cross along her arms and legs. A large scrape makes its mark along the length of her torso, brick red and dark. Bruises mar almost every inch of skin, making it very important to be gentle with her.

Her breathing is shallow, a little below normal at best. Her body is a battlefield. Proof of all she fought. All she won. All she lost.

All they lost.

There's one particular gash on her head, just above her eyebrow. Before, the blood had been running into her closed eyes and streaming down her face. They had managed to clean the blood from her face but the wound is still there, puckered and glaring.

Miu presses her hand to her mouth as they notice another graze on her shoulder. It's almost as bad as the one on her torso, only not as long. It's dark red, surrounded by a lighter tone. Warm blood leaks from it, trailing down her pale skin and staining it.

Renn takes the newly cut bandage and gently pats it, cleaning the gore from the wound. He is slow, calm, gentle. Completely unlike what Miu is feeling inside. Inside, she is screaming, freaking out, wanting to throw something, to crush something. Her hands are grasping at something, anything, to distract herself. She happens to be clutching the scissors and accidentally presses the metal into her own hand.

Renn looks up for a moment to see the blade touch Miu's skin and quickly reaches over and loosens her grip from it. He sets it down on the floor next to him and wordlessly takes another bandage to wrap around Miu's hand. She barely notices.

"Renn…" she says, her voice raspy. Her eyes don't leave Saki's face so Renn waits patiently. He has to be the calm one, the strong one. He has to keep everyone else from falling apart before he can break down himself. He's not as put together as he seems.

"Renn…" she repeats. "She's…she's not going to die, right? She'll be okay, right?" She turns to stare at him, her eyes watery and sparkling from unshed tears. She had built this fantasy world, this world of magic and it had only led to something tragic.

"Yes, Miu. She'll be okay. Saki's…" he pauses at her name, still unsure of how 'fine' she'll be. He shakes his head, not wanting to doubt his abilities. "Saki's strong."

"But…Renn…she saved everyone. She saved us. She…she…" Miu can't go on and closes her eyes, trying to stop the tears from overflowing.

"She couldn't save herself," Renn finishes for her, turning back to his work. He takes another bandage and cuts it smoothly, the line perfectly straight.

It's true. She saved everyone because she couldn't save herself-literally.

"Yes," whispers Miu. "Why? Why did this happen?" Renn pauses, his hand hovering over Saki. What can he say now?

"I don't know," he finally says. "I'm sorry Miu, that I don't know. But now…now we have to focus." Miu nods and wipes her eyes. She tries to get a hold of herself. _It's okay, it's okay. She'll be fine. She'll be fine._

"You're right, Renn," she admits. She gives a little laugh but it comes out sounding like she's choking. "I wonder, Renn, what it's like to live in reality again."

Renn looks at her for a moment, wondering pretty much the same thing. How is everything so horribly wrong? How is everything so twisted? But he keeps his thoughts to himself and gets up from his seat. Miu has once again tuned him out and doesn't notice the chair squeak or the sound of the bowl being lifted from the ground as Renn picks it up.

Moving to the sink, he dumps out the clouded water, dirty from blood and gore and fills it up again with clean water. He tries not to think of all the times Saki has touched the faucet, the sink. Only by doing tedious, focused tasks can he really cope with it.

Sitting back down, he dips a cloth into it and presses the wet fabric to another wound on the side of her neck. The streams of warm water run down her skin and Miu absentmindedly wipes the water away with the sleeve of her jacket. She doesn't say anything more as they continue to care for Saki.

There's nothing left to say.

* * *

"I can't stand it anymore, I have to go in," Sosuke declares. He rises from the chair and goes to the door of the Ginjiro-go. Always one for action and not one to be patient, it is the worst for Sosuke. He can't stand waiting and this wait especially is killing him. His own teammate is on the verge of death. He can't continue to stand around and do nothing. He has to do something, at least see her.

"Renn said we should wait," Hanto mumbles, barely heard through his arms covering his head. Sosuke looks to the green Go Onger, barely restraining himself from snapping at him.

"I'm with Sosuke on this one." Hiroto stands up as well, pushing the chair away from him. The pain has been eating away at him. It is as if he lost his little sister. But seeing his actual little sister in such pain is ten times worse.

"Yeah, me too," Gunpei chips in, coming to stand beside the others. "Let's do this." Saki is an irreplaceable member to the Go Ongers to have her go through this and them not being able to do anything-it's crushing him.

Hanto slowly raises his head from the table to stare at them with drooping eyes. Hiding under his arms, he had been trying to stop the flow of tears that threaten to come out. Seeing them all so determined to try and help Saki, just makes the sadness worse and the flood harder to keep dammed up.

"Okay, let's go," he says and goes to join them at the door. They all look at each other, prepared for the worst and Sosuke raises his fist and knocks on the door. Once, twice, three times.

For a moment there's no response and Sosuke is about to burst in when Miu opens the door. Her eyes are sparkling with unshed tears and seeing them all there does nothing to jar the saddened look in her eyes.

"Is Saki okay?" asks Sosuke, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Is everything alright?" Hiroto looks at his sister's pain filled face. She doesn't even bother trying to keep it blank, which scares him. This is how far it's gotten to her. This is how deep it cut her.

"Can we see her?" demands Hanto, poking his head around Gunpei's shoulder. Miu nods wordlessly and turns around to go back inside. The others follow, crowding through the door. Once they make it inside, they see Renn bent over Saki's figure. She's lying on the couch with a white sheet pulled up to her waist. They can tell she's clad only in an undershirt and shorts, giving them a fuller view of how injured she really is.

What catches their attention is the gash at her torso. Renn had lifted her shirt up a little so as to bandage it better but some of the red scrape still peeks out from under the white cloth.

"Saki…" Hanto murmurs, astounded at the state she's in. Bloodied scrapes accompany the bruises covering her skin. Renn looks up, startled at the entrance of the other Go Ongers.

"What are you doing here?" he asks without turning around as he places another newly wet cloth on her forehead.

"We needed to see how she was doing," Sosuke says firmly, taking a step forward to stand beside Renn's shoulder. Renn just nods and continues to stare at Saki.

"I had no idea it was this bad," Gunpei whispers, not taking his eyes off of her. A crimson cut, decorating her forehead shows under even a layer or two of white.

"Is she getting better?" questions Hiroto, kneeling down beside the couch, near her head. Renn doesn't say anything for a moment so he turns to look at him. "Well? Is she?"

Miu looks at him expectantly as well, wanting to know. She had been so out of it that now that the others have come in, it's like a breath of fresh air. That they had snapped her back to reality. That the shadowy world she had been in for the past hour has now disappeared a little more.

"She's not one hundred percent better yet," Renn sighs, "but she's getting there."

"Will she wake up soon?" Sosuke comes to kneel down next to Hiroto. Miu has sat back down in her chair with Hanto behind her. He puts his hand on her shoulder and squeezes as she lifts her hand to place on top of his.

"I'm not sure yet," Renn says after a pause. Gunpei raises his eyebrows and looks at the mother figure of the Go Ongers. He has been doing such a good job, looking after them, caring for them that he doesn't want to get made at Renn. But now…now is different.

"What do you mean Renn?" he asks, his voice soft. The others wait for an answer as well. Going this long without Saki has been terrible to say the least. Who knows how much longer they can go without a yellow Go Onger? Or at least without her smile.

"I don't know how much longer it will be," clarifies Renn. "It could be any time between now and a couple days."

"A couple days?" Hanto repeats, looking at Renn horrified. "We have to wait a couple days?" He can't do that. None of them can. They miss her too much. And not just the big things she did, like taking down a Gaiark or piloting an engine. They miss the little things the most, like laughing together.

"I said it could be sooner," Renn defends himself. "I just…don't know."

"Come on Renn, you have to know! You have to be certain!" Sosuke gets up and grabs Renn's shoulders, starting to shake him. Although having a surprised look on his face, the blue Go Onger does nothing to fight back. "Come on Renn! Get it together! Why don't you know? Why?" Gunpei reaches out and takes hold of Sosuke, making him let go.

"Sosuke! Calm down!" Gunpei scolds him. The others just watch it unfold. Sosuke has his head down, trying to control himself. But he can't take it anymore. Saki was the only one that could get him to calm down. To really calm down, to actually think before doing anything.

"I'm sorry, Renn," he finally mutters out. "It's just….I need someone to blame. I need someone to take responsibility, I need someone to help!" His voice grows louder with each word as he wrenches his arms away from Gunpei.

"Sosuke, we're all hurting but you need to calm down," Miu says, her words strong but her voice not. "It's no one's fault. You can't blame Renn, he's doing the best he can."

"No," Renn cuts her off, hands on his knees as he stares at Saki. "Sosuke's right." The others whip their heads towards Renn, all confused.

"What?" Hanto asks. Renn just sighs. He doesn't really know how to explain it. How he always has to be the best always has to be put together, always has to be strong for them when he feels like breaking down.

"He's right. I haven't been doing enough. I need to do something else. I'm supposed to be your guy's mother and I failed. I…I can't do this anymore."

He's there for everyone. He over thinks everything and that stresses him out, creating problems that weren't there in the first place. But still, he keeps it together for them.

They all look at him, aware that when Renn breaks down, they're all done for. He's one of the ones to keep it together, to keep everything from falling apart. But one can only take so much. He can't be the rock for everyone, all the time.

"Sorry guys," Renn mutters. Gunepi shakes his head and squeezes Renn's shoulder.

"No Renn. It's fine, you're allowed to let it out from time to time."

"Yeah, you do everything for us, you have to let us take some of the blame," Hanto encourages, nodding his head. A little bit of life is working itself back into him. He's trying to be like Saki, trying to be happy and cheerful and make everyone else feel better.

"Lean on us, for once," Sosuke chips in. "That's what us comrades are here for!" Renn looks up at them all and gives a slight smile. It makes him feel a little better that he's not so alone. That he doesn't have to hold everyone else up all the time, every day, for the past year.

He can finally breathe easier. Now that he knows. When you do everything for someone, it's the way they act that means the most. Not what they say. Not what they want to say. But how they are around you. So he knows everything is okay. Before he was just…so tired of crying, so sick of trying. But now, it's more bearable.

"Thanks," he says, reaching for another bandage. "So if you want to be helpful, would you mind handing me the scissors?"

"That's the spirit," Sosuke musters a weak chuckle before handing him the metal instrument. Renn nods before tuning them all out and solely focusing on placing the bandage exactly right on her so it's positioned perfectly.

"Renn, we're all here for each other. We're family," says Hanto hesitantly. Hiroto and Miu look at each other, with small smiles on their faces. True, they are actual family but Hanto's right. They found a family outside of blood-related. And that bond…that bond is stronger then maybe even what they have.

"Yeah…family," Hiroto mumbles quietly. It echoes through his mind, triggering different images of what it means to him. At first it shows pictures of Miu and his parents, when he was younger. But then they start to shift.

Now he sees Renn making a meal. Hanto rushing through the Ginjiro-go, going from one job to another. Gunpei reading the paper or a book of some kind. Sosuke tossing his coin or eating Renn's meal. Saki, fixing her hair. Them all outside, eating and talking and laughing.

_Family…_

"Family…"

They look at Saki as she mutters that simple word. Her eyes are still closed but her breathing has slowed, almost to normal.

"Saki?" Hanto says tentatively, hoping against hope that they didn't imagine it. She takes in another deep breath and slowly opens her eyes.

And it's like the sun coming out.

At first everything is too loud, too bright. It's unraveling everything she knows. She doesn't even know what she knows anymore. She doesn't even understand what she doesn't understand. All she knows is that she's not alone. Somehow, somewhere, they're with her.

Her family.

She had been able to faintly hear them but not answer back or distinguish anyone's voices. All she had was the words drifting in and out of her mind.

"_Are you alright?"_

"_Saki? Saki, answer, please!" _

"_Speak to us Saki!"_

"_Saki's strong."_

"_I wonder what it's like to live in reality again."_

"_Come on! Get it together!"_

"_Lean on us."_

"_We're here for you. We're your family."_

Colors blur together. They join and shift in and out of her vision, trying to band together to form solid pictures in front of her eyes. Finally, she is able to see a shadow of what's above her. She sees red, blue, green, black, silver, gold…

The colors of the rainbow snap her eyes back to seeing normally. She blinks slowly, trying to piece it all together. And now, she can see individuals.

She looks for the one she needs to see. The one that is like the light in the darkness of closed eyes. _Hiroto…_

Sosuke. Renn. Hanto. Gunpei. Miu. Hiroto… they all are staring at her, the looks on their faces ones of hope and sadness.

"Saki?" Hanto says, his voice quiet. She turns her eyes to him and manages a weak smile. She feels a crushing pain on her ribs, making her breathing difficult. She feels scrapes along her arms. She feels one in particular on her waist and another on her head. She can count every bruise on her skin. But despite all the pain around her, she feels happiness blossom inside her.

"Hi," she mutters, her voice raspy. There's dead silence for a moment before the inside of the van explodes.

"Oh Saki! You're awake!" Sosuke shouts, grinning so big, it feels like his cheekbones might snap. All the helplessness, all the sadness leaks out of him.

"Saki! I'm so happy," Miu gets out, holding her hand over her mouth to try and stop herself from crying. Happy tears, however trail down her face.

Hiroto doesn't say anything but just looks at her. Even when hurt and in pain, she's still sunny, she's still shining, she's still beautiful. He silently agrees with the others-how could anyone go through life without her?

"It's great to see you awake," remarks Gunpei, beaming down on her. A dark cloud that once hung over the Go Ongers recedes back into the sky, leaving nothing but sunshine.

"Are you okay Saki? Do you need anything?" asks Hanto, so happy his best friend is back. Seeing her eyes open makes everything better. She is bringing everything together just by smiling up at them.

"Guys, guys, give her some space," Renn cautions. He turns to Saki and gives her a gentle smile. "We're so happy that you're awake."

"You have no idea how hard it was," interjects Sosuke, resting his arms on the couch. "Being without you, I mean. Who knew how long it would be before we'd all go insane?"

"Because some aren't already, of course," Hiroto says, winking, snapping out of his thoughts. He very hesitantly reaches out a hand to touch Saki's palm. Her fingers curl around his own and she manages a sunny smile as Sosuke glares at the gold Go On Wings.

"I'm sorry for making you guys go through that," says Saki, looking down at the sheet. She can't see through it but can feel the wounds lining her legs and torso.

"What are you talking about Saki?" Sosuke looks at her like she's crazy. "You saved us so we should be saying sorry to you and we're are very grateful to you."

"Yeah, thanks for that," Gunpei adds. "It was really brave." Hiroto starts to move his hand away but Saki just clutches it tighter and won't let him leave. He smiles to himself.

"Never apologize for saying how you feel," Hiroto tells her, giving her a smirk. But underneath his bravado and 'I don't care' attitude, it's a real smile. A genuine smile that shows just how much she means to him.

"We really owe you one," Miu admits, reaching out to touch Saki's arm. She's careful to avoid the bruised areas and Saki gives her a grateful glance. As much as she loves them, she's quite sore and would rather no one touch her.

"Well, I couldn't let it happen. That would've been really bad," says Saki. "Smile, smile, right?"

The others look at each other, their own smiles gracing their faces. Saki is back. She's okay, they're all fine, it's back to normal for them.

"Smile, smile," they repeat.


End file.
